I saw an ad in some magazine
Selling what who knows or cares
What I really noticed was those abs
No doubt the epitome of envious stares
I patted my belly and made a frown
My spare tires sagging around my gut
No Atkins or South Beach could now help
When I yearned for a Krispy Kreme doughnut
I’ve tried and been good many a time
Giving my life to the devotion of exercise
But having fasted and worked off the pounds
I did nothing but regained weight and my size
So here I now sit in a chair
My bottom wedged so deeply in place
Why should I worry about my weight
When I would weigh nothing in space?
